Angelic Faith

This is one of a few in this series. I am not sure where the other parts of it will be, but please feel free to view my profile to see where the others will be placed...Please enjoy.

I began this article as an article, then I thought to myself, hey I have a blog, and it came to my attention that this should be an actual blog that can be updated once a week or a month, depending upon my schedule. I welcome you to my insight of some things not many wish to touch upon: Life and life around us.

I am no expert; however I believe I have earned the rank to be considered an adviser. I also believe in the constitution and the first amendment rights that we are blessed with as Americans. So I will write freely until the first amendment is taken out of the constitution. With the current status quo, that may be next year, because for some reason or another there is a new bill or law passed that affects us, but we don't know about it until after the fact.

Please don't tell me, well people should keep up with the current political status. My response is this, when do they have time? The ones who actually want to do something usually two jobs that they are holding down to feed their families, there is family time, and then at some point and time they must sleep? So it is not that they don’t wish to keep up, time does not allow them to keep up. Unless they are wonder woman or superman, I am sure that their families think they are but with out those gifts of superpowers they can not do everything.

So I am hoping that people will have a good laugh and pass this on to others who need a good laugh. I also would like people to be able to make their own decisions and ideas with what I write, because I am tired of hearing there is no way I can do anything to change anything.

Well I am not sure if this will work, but let's try to get people to actually read this and pass it on. Call it the survival guide to today's world.

Just so you know, I hear that the government will give you vacation if you are in the mood for one. That is, if you are lucky enough to be considered an “enemy combatant”, then the government gives you a free flight to see some beaches. It is even on a Naval Station called Guantanamo Bay,

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Guant%C3%A1namo_Bay, _Cuba

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Guantanamo_Bay_detentio n_camp

I hear they have lovely beaches. I might stay for the water boarding, which if you have not heard lately, may or may not be considered torture. The senate has yet to decide. Last I checked, the house has decided it is torture. I wonder which way the fearless leader of our country shall choose to go? He may need some cards so he can pronounce Guantanamo, so it may be best that he decides it is torture so that he does not have to say Guantanamo too much.

As you can see, I have a burr under my skin. It is rather large and well, we all share it. So why have I begun this blog? Because I can, I want to, and I believe fully that one person can make a difference. That, and I am sure the government and other countries shall always have something for to say about them.

Someone will always be a leader we don't like or find carries a lack of character. Now before we begin to blame the government for a lot of problems, let's think about this for a minute. If you honestly think about the position of being a President, a leader, someone that we try to look up to, would you really want to fill their shoes? We often say we could do a better job at managing the current system. The many who have gotten into office think that too, make promises, and then with tradition, they break their promises as well. With all the red tape, no wonder they can't actually achieve anything.

Our current system as we now know it, our everyday grind that we live would not allow it. Hey, I am a New Yorker, you become accustomed to living life with a schedule. Without that schedule, you lose time, and time is money. Well, you get the idea; same speech, different person.

So when I began this project of the rants that I am going to do, I started because of my research on something called CA-MRSA. You may or may not have heard about it. If you get it, please don't share it. I am not sure if this is the gift we would like to keep on giving.

In doing research, I have come across some things that raised some red flags and made me go hmmm... How many others know about this, and if they don't, why don't they? I am thinking you can compare me to Agent Fox Mulder from the X-files. Because in reality I am much like him in the fact that I believe that the government is out to destroy normal humanity.

Now I am not a riot-enthusiast. I don't put on war paint and decide to riot in the streets. However I do attend a few protests now and then. As for the riots in the streets, I think I would like to skip that part of the tour, thank you very much, but if it comes to that point, I will get dressed up so that I can riot in the streets. I believe the pen is mightier than the sword anyway, so with the research of CA-MRSA, I decided, why stop there? How about if we just go all the way, see how far this blog can reach, and how many people I can upset along the way.

Because heaven forbid I feel ways about things and have an opinion that may or may not be ok with the current politically correct venue of the time. This might actually mean that I can think for myself. So when I go off on side notes, they are just to keep you interested in seeing what the next thing is that I am going to say so you can get a small chuckle in your day.

Now moving on, political correctness, if you are looking for that in this blog, I am respectful, these are my opinions, and well, what fun is life if you don't ruffle a few feathers? I don't use certain words because I would not like them to be my label. I like the idea of writing and reaching people. Perhaps that is politically incorrect in a politically correct society. I think I may end up with a Parental Advisory sticker, so there you go.

That is your Parental warning, if you are not adult enough to enjoy the humor here, well then you are too young to be here, but please go get your parents so you have parental approval. There will be a contract at the end of the blog so you may get your parents' permission to read this blog. I will expect to see them in my email. I may touch on things that others may not want you to read. Oh, isn't it fun being a rebel?

Speaking of which, how can you keep up? Today if you say one wrong word, one wrong statement, you could be facing a string of lawsuits. I understand it is important to be respectful, but the politically correct wording can go a bit overboard. I mean honestly, it is pretty bad when you have to ask the host of the party what is correct to call someone.

I think there should be a daily email to everyone who has a computer with the politically correct words of the day and then invite people to make a new one just so the government does not have to come up with more words that we can be sued over or arrested for. Common sense should kick in sometime, name-calling all around is just plain rude.

Here's an idea, remember the manners you were taught when you were growing up? Use them like you are supposed to; if you would not want to be called that particular word, don't say it. Do we really need a guide to tell us what we can and cannot say for words that maybe if they were not brought to our attention, we would never have used them in the first place.

So I would like to take you round the world with words; a humorist way of looking at things in today's society. Why do it on a blog? How else can I bring joy and laughter to millions of people's faces and actually seem interesting?

A bit about me, if you are reading this blog for the first time, which you probably are if you are reading this page, I have a very dry sense of humor. You decided to continue reading, so you apparently have your permission slip back in. I am very proud of you. You get an A for effort and completion.

I am hoping you look forward to my weekly blog of how to survive the earth in a satirical setting. It's ok to laugh as well; I have found that humor can add years to a person's life-span. Now if you don't wish to extend this life's sentencing, please stop reading now. For those of you who would like a bit of laughter, that there are more important things in life to worry about, and know real life is too serious to be taken seriously, please continue reading.

I am a smoker. Just to let you know, I smoke. Yes, for those of you who are non-smokers, well, I am one of those who are politically incorrect. Please don't comment that I really should quit for my health's sake. We smokers know this. We don't need a lecture, besides that, smokers are few and far between these days if you look around. Since that is the case, and I don't like being part of a cookie-cutter design, I don't like being part of a mold. I am fairly sure that if there is a mold of me out there, they have destroyed it. Personally, I wouldn't want another one of me running around either. I get the feeling that one of me is enough, more than enough for anyone. I personally like being unique and opinionated.

I also am a mom, of quite a few, adopted or not. My children range from ages that are endless. I am very lucky to have them in my life for the plain and simple fact that they help me see what I see so I can write to let you see.

I have lived all over the United States, I do vote, and I have an opinion. However since I was not with the military as active duty, my opinion was not handed to me with my BDU's. It is only a joke, but a common one in the military.

On a serious note, I am a Marine Corps brat. I support our troops and want them home as much as the next person, did I mention I vote? Now back to the men in uniform and wanting them home, well how could I not? Have you not seen a man in a uniform? A dress uniform, looking all yummy, dressed to the nines, and as handsome and sexy as a man can get. Nicely forming over the bottom and pressed, just the type of dessert you want for dinner. You just want to take him home and devour him. A little side note for those who have a fetish for such things, enjoy your visual.

I do believe that too many have died for what they believe in, this country, our freedoms, so much so someone must speak for them to come home. I am sure their families would love that they would make it home soon.

I believe in speaking the truth and have a very warped thought process on how things got started. It all started with a bad horror movie. My roommate and I were up one night watching a really bad horror flick. I am thinking this is where this blog idea came from. This movie, no matter how horrid it was, you had to finish it because you wanted to see the gruesome ending.

Kinda like watching a train wreck that you can't take your eyes off, but worse because you can change the channel. You just don't want to. This movie started off with these kids, you know the normal, needed mix for a good horror movie. The stupid girl who will fall and die first or second, the irritating brain who you just wish would leave his brain behind so you can just escape, and let's not forget the two that will end up together at the end.

Well these people decided it would be a good idea to go caving before this man's wedding. Yeah, smart idea there is what my roommate and I were both thinking. Like anyone would like to take the chance of being crushed, mutilated by falling, or maimed by an animal either known or unknown to man. It is the same with that so needed boat trip and yes, let's not forget the parties. My question there is if you want to take this risk before one of the most important days of your life, what did your fiancé do to you to make you have a death wish before you even get married.

You know full well this is not a good idea, but hey, let's go anyway. Now I don't know about you, but if I lived in a cave I would not want unexpected guests either. I mean, what if I forgot to lock up that really big dragon of mine and you just so happen to decide, let's go caving and drop in. I won't have time to call him back and once he has greeted you, it is way too late, and now I have a mess to clean up.

Ok so right there we should have turned the channel but alas, Family Guy and Futurama were not on. So as the movie goes on, someone has to take a leak. Oh yeah, good idea. Do you want someone peeing on your doorstep?

Ever notice the worst monsters either come from the ocean or from caves in horror movies? Now back to the peeing on the door stoop, how about if you are sleeping and someone pees on your head? I am fairly sure that I am not going to want to let you in the house if you can't even ask me if I enjoy that sort of thing, Why should I let you in? So you can go pee in my corner or my chair?

So this blog will be based off things like peeing in someone's cave, or being stuck in traffic in New York, or perhaps a few helpful hints to survive along the way only to name a few.

Now back to caves. I believe a lot of the worlds issues stem from someone peeing in someone else's cave. See, you have to respect caves. Here is the thing, how far have we really studied into caves? Haven't people heard that dragons and giant ants and centipedes and the like live in caves? If they are writing stories about caves and what they are finding, do we really want to wake up whatever lives there? I know I sure don't.

I should write a handbook for those who wish to read it for survival in caves according to the movie my roommate and I saw. This movie was very valuable, because it instructed me what not to do when in a cave if I would like to stay alive.

Now back to the research of caves, I am all for learning. I am the first person to say education is priceless; I learned this from my Gram who I miss greatly, more on that later though. However with all we have learned about caves and what can happen, do we honestly know what is down there?

In New York City the subways have rats, now imagine a cave and its hidden chambers. If you have peed in a cave, you are now probably wondering whose door stoop you peed in and why would you do such a thing? I would think twice about peeing in someone's cave. You never know what kind of guard animal they have for protecting that cave.

So if you are reading this from a cave, you have a great internet connection, first and foremost. Please make sure to only pee in the designated spots, usually called bathrooms. I am sure that if you have been living in a cave for a bit, you by now know not to upset the locals.

So moving forward to my blog: Welcome to my world. I think it is Wonderland, but every now and then I will poke my head out to see what is really going on and actually try to form an opinion that was not prescribed for me. I am sure that pill is not usually handed out. I had to steal it from history, books, and people peeing in my cave.

Also, I will donate 25% of my earnings to charity. I will somehow figure out how to let people see that I am donating a lot of the money to the cause of humanity because I think it is worth the investment for tomorrow's future and well, let's be honest, if people are not alive, how am I supposed to make a living?

*.....Thank you this has been a public broadcast system of the FBNS (Faythe Based Network System) supported by your local 1st Amendment Rights, backed by the Constitution of the United States, broadcasted out of New York City, Baby....*

'Til the next time, enjoy your day. I hope I brought some laughter into it. Also I have to find those permission slips for those of you who need them. They are lost somewhere in the Bronx.

Labels: humor, Life, satire